


You Left My Heart In Cold Waters

by QuillMind



Series: Angstentine's Day 2017 [6]
Category: Drifters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Choosing Sides, Comfort, Companions, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Nonverbal Communication, Other, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9615329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillMind/pseuds/QuillMind
Summary: Thrown into a mysterious world all alone, you met someone in the same position as you.  You find comfort in each other, but eventually it becomes clear that you are on opposing sides.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration comes from ["Found Someone" by TastyTreat feat. Tribes!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIZDx_fJXkM)

At first, all you had was each other. 

Arriving in an alien land with nothing but the clothes on your back, you were totally at the mercy of anything that might come your way.  In your case, "anything" was a couple of soldiers that happened to be some disturbing hybrid of man and pig. 

They spoke some strange language that you'd never heard of, waving their swords to herd you until your back was against a tree.  You cringed for the moment when one of the pig-men's hands reached out to grab you, but it never came.  Hands tend to become incapable of grabbing things once they're separated from their body. 

Hijikata hadn't given his actions then much thought, which was not the normal way he did things.  But the sight of you, defenceless, scared and threatened by armed "men" had all the information he required.  In spite of the injuries he'd sustained from the Battle of Hakodate, he managed to relieve the abominable soldiers of their appendages before promptly ending them with a single strike through each of their chests.  Turning to you, he'd asked in Japanese if you were all right before passing out on the ground. 

This man was just as unknown and intimidating to you as the pig soldiers, if not moreso.  Tall, clad all in black and carrying a set of Japanese katana, he was covered in blood, and not all of it came from him. 

But he'd rescued you.  You couldn't leave him.  So you dragged him to a hidden cave that was fortunately not too far away, and did the best you could to treat his wounds.  Food you found in the form of some meager rations that the soldiers had been carrying, and wild berries that grew in the brambles nearby.  Water was plentiful from a small river, only for you to realize with dismay that you didn't have anything to carry it in.  With no other ideas coming to you, you dipped your chin into the current to take a few gulps for yourself before filling your mouth and returning to the cave.  He was awake, but just barely. 

Bending down, hoping you weren't about to make some sort of mistake, you held his head steady and sealed your lips around his to feed him the water.  You felt him tense up reflexively at the odd sensation, which only made you more insistent, forcing your tongue in to pry apart his teeth.  It was impossible to prevent some water from spilling over the corners of his mouth, but he drank all that you gave him. 

Sitting back up again, you kept your eyes averted, glad for the shady darkness of the cave as you reached for the berries and rations you'd put on a large leaf.  The ration appeared to be some sort of cured meat, just a few grades softer than shoe leather.  You could manage eating the tough strips, but your rescuer you were less sure about, so you chewed on the meat and some berries, hoping that the latter would tenderize the former a little, and fed that to him, too.  You repeated in your mind that the slight groan you heard him make as your lips pressed together was because of his injuries, nothing more. 

Afterwards, you made another trip to the river to give the man more to drink.  Once he'd fallen asleep, you built a fire that warmed the small cave, and sat against the wall watching him for as long as you could stay awake. 

Miraculously, the man pulled through the night, and his wounds quickly healed.  By the end of the next day, he was almost back to full health, able to eat and drink on his own.  You bit your lip and mentally kicked yourself for being disappointed at that. 

The language barrier made things difficult, though you did at least learn each other's names.  Neither of you were the chatty sort to begin with, and it was as though you didn't need to know much else besides that one thing.  All other communication happened largely with gestures and eye contact, and as much as it sometimes made you nervous to be under Hijikata's dark stare, you never wanted it to go away from you. 

For his part, Hijikata doubted he would have spoken to you even if he did speak your language.  There was a strange quality that you held that made him feel distrustful of what he might say.  But there was also a certain freedom in being around someone who didn't know anything about you.  You were a blank slate to them, with all of your past misdeeds and flaws nonexistent, freed from reputation and expectation.  With you, he was not the Ogre Vice-Commander or Wolf of Mibu.  You didn't know how a good portion of his country had considered him to be not much more than Shogunate's attack dog, a blood-stained butcher.  With you, he was just a man. 

He had not felt that way in a long time. 

Staying in the cave forever was pointless, so eventually you left to head east, as Hijikata had decided.  The trek was mostly quiet, but that didn't make it bothersome.  It was like not having to talk was a special secret the two of you shared.  Sometimes you broke the silence, pointing out things you saw and saying their name in your language, then encouraging him to do so with his.  It would always take him a while, but he would indulge you in your little game, sighing and dutifully repeating the words.  Honestly, you could have care less what he said--you just liked hearing his voice. 

And that feeling was mutual.  There were other times when you'd sing to yourself, which was met with a more or less neutral look from Hijikata, but he would give a slight nod of approval to the ones that appealed to him, which was, considering who they were coming from, a great compliment. 

During the night, you would take shelter somewhere secluded.  A fire was always lit for warmth, but when you woke up in the morning, you would have Hijikata's coat draped over you.  His masculine scent filled your nose, making you squeeze the black garment out of the desire to have it further envelop you--or to have Hijikata himself take its place.  There hadn't been anything as intimate as that first incident, which meant that the tension was only growing with every day.  The most minute of touches and quickest of glances had your mind overanalyzing each of them and paving paths to what might happen next if you seized upon those opportunities. 

But you never got that chance. 

Ugly, snarling creatures that you would later learn were called kobolds and goblins descended upon your shelter of the day that was within the stone ruins of an old house.  Extinguishing the fire, you both hid in the shadows, with Hijikata holding his arm in front of you in protection.  With the numbers that were crawling over the area, it would not be possible to remain undetected.  He silently gestured for you to run while he drew their attention away. 

It was the rational thing to do.  You couldn't fight, after all, and if you were found, you might be used against Hijikata.  But the idea of being separated from him made your chest feel like it was being crushed, and you shook your head, pleading. 

He glared the way an instructor did to a belligerent pupil--something he had real experience with in the past--but you were no swordsman, after all.  He then did something quite unexpected for himself, touching his hand to your cheek and brushing his thumb over your skin.  It only lasted for a few seconds, but the impact of it went all the way to your bones, triggering a bittersweet warmth. 

You balled your fists and nodded, gripping your hand over his wrist.  Skin on skin.  Held breaths. 

Hijikata rushed into the core of the beastly soldiers, while you quickly snuck away in the other direction.  You heard pained, animalistic screams as steel sliced through bodies, but never the deep voice of a human man.  It stayed that way until you were far away enough to no longer hear the battle at all.  That gave you hope. 

You'd considered waiting until Hijikata would come and find you again, but a platoon of goblin soldiers prevented you from staying in place.  For one reason or another, you were forced to stay on the move, until you began seriously entertaining the likelihood that that night was the last time you'd ever see the black-clad samurai. 

Several months later, you were proven wrong, though it did not bring you the joy you thought it would. 

He was in the flaming streets of Verlina, with smoke as black as his clothes swirling through the city.  You saw him with rage-clouded eyes, engaged in a brutal fistfight with Toyohisa--the second human you'd met since your arrival here. 

"Hijikata!" 

The name you hadn't spoken in so long exploded from you like a gunshot--and hurt just as much.  It froze both the speaker and the owner of the name as you met each other's gaze. 

A moment of anxious, conflicted reverie--interrupted by Toyohisa landing a blow to Hijikata's face with a savage shout.  The gasp that you made was swallowed up by the roaring of flames, the yelling of soldiers echoing throughout the streets, and the relentless fight that had now resumed. 

You had heard from the Octobrists, that bizarre sect of magicians, that among the Ends was a swordsman clad in black.  Even as your heart had leapt at the description, you beat down that premature hope, thinking that it couldn't possibly be him.  Surely he would never join the side of those that wanted to destroy humanity. 

But he was here, ignoring the wounds that Toyohisa gave him while pummeling the red samurai.  Though Hijikata was the one in a better physical state, somehow the bloodied and weaponless Toyohisa came across as the advantaged one, emitting snarling laughs between punches both given and received.  The Shinsengumi vice-commander looked frenzied, shaken, and mad with rage. 

Suddenly he stopped mid-strike, his eyes narrowing and jaw setting.  His clenched fist, the knuckles stained with Toyohisa's blood, trembled like it was being held in place by a thread.  He exhaled a breath that was just as much a growl and slowly backed away, making him resemble a vicious dog that had been made to heel despite its desire to rip its quarry to pieces. 

"Son of a bitch, what're you doing!?" Toyohisa demanded, pushed himself up onto his knees.  "Get back here and let's finish this!" 

Hijikata's stare burned into his enemy, but he declined to respond. 

Red raindrops splattered over the cobblestones as Toyohisa fought against his injuries and stood up.  Your breathing was shallow and fast with concern over him, but a deep screeching sent both of your gazes skyward. 

A black dragon with a goblin soldier at the reins beat its wings to swoop down towards you.  The air in the vicinity was blown back as the beast landed in the middle of the street and obediently lowered its head in front of Hijikata, who got onto its wide neck.  Then he slowly turned his head to look at you.  The goblin said something urgently in his own language, but Hijikata held up his hand to the grunt, instantly silencing him all the while never taking his eyes off of you. 

His other hand he held out, waiting.   He was offering for you to come with him. 

Sweat trickled down the side of your face, but you doubted it was because of the blazing fire.  Hijikata had made his choice on where he stood.  He knew about the Ends and the Black King's plans just as you did, and he still was going to follow them in their goal. 

It made you realize how foolish you'd been, living that innocent little fantasy for as long as you had.  Those quiet days of being with Hijikata had you feeling like you knew him so well, but in truth, you didn't know a thing about each other.  You were absolute strangers.  Strangers that couldn't go back to that static dream pretending blissful ignorance, now that the rest of the world had found you. 

You'd heard and understood Hijikata's words earlier when he was fighting Toyohisa.  No doubt he was also fitted with the Ends' equivalent of the Octobrists' magic charms that granted linguistic fluency.  If you wanted to, you could speak to him, ask him why he was doing this and if it were possible for him to consider joining the Drifters' side.  But again from the conversation you were having in each other's eyes, you saw that it wouldn't matter. 

_If you do this, we'll be enemies._

_Yes._   Hijikata remembered that same look that you'd given him when he told you to run away all those months ago.  All you had to do was come to him, and he would make sure you would never be afraid again.  His hands felt twitchy. 

Your chest rose and fell deeply.  Was it the smoke or something else that was causing your eyes to sting?  _Please.  I don't want to fight you._  

 _I could never fight alongside that Shimazu brat._   He made a strong grip on the hilt of his sword, vaguely pointing the end of it in Toyohisa's direction. 

You nervously stepped in front of your injured friend, blocking him off from Hijikata's line of sight.  Shaking your head sadly, you willed your thoughts to him.  _I don't want you to kill him, either._   _I'm sorry._

Hijikata's dark hair covered some of his face as he lowered his chin, staring daggers through you to where Toyohisa was before focusing on you once more.  Seeing that there was nothing else to be done, you turned back to the vermilion warrior, worriedly asking him questions and lending him your shoulder to help him stand.  Toyohisa tried to push away your help at first, but soon enough yielded and frustratedly groaned as he let his arm drape over you, drawing himself closer to your face as he hoisted himself to his feet. 

He gave the goblin a curt nod of his head, and the soldier yanked on the reins.  The dragon howled like a train bell announcing its departure, and lifted itself off of the ground, fanning the fires surrounding you with its wings.  You ignored Toyohisa's ranting complaints about being robbed of a proper battle, and watched Hijikata shrink from your view. 

Rising above the smoke and the orange glow on the surface, Hijikata studied you down below.  You had your hands around Toyohisa, and your face had a large smudge of blood--the Shimazu brat's blood--over it.  Like a brand.  Like a claiming mark. 

Hijikata snorted and turned away.  It was irrational and stupid to be irate over the idea of losing something when it was never yours to begin with.  _As if I needed another reason to hate the Shimazu_ , he thought with disgust. 

He barked an order to the goblin to make haste in getting them away from Verlina.  The sooner he could get away from you, the sooner he could be the way he used to be, the better. 

By the time you'd called out his name again, he was too far to hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> One little story detail: I have it so that Hijikata didn't have his smoke-minion power until he met and joined the Black King. I figure those powers are only gained if/when you swear fealty to the Ends' cause. 
> 
> Also, I deliberately kept it vague as to whether the Reader is in a relationship with Toyohisa (though when I wrote it I had it in my mind that they're just friends/comrades).


End file.
